Monday, April 22, 2013

Author Ellie Heller

Hi all!

Please welcome Author Ellie Heller to my blog today!


Here's my interview with the Author:
What is your name? Do you use a pen name (if so, why?)?
My pen name is Ellie Heller, although it is a real name since it's a nickname some friends used in high school and my maiden name, so people outside of publishing do know me as Ellie. I came to use it because a decade or more ago. When I first starting joining online writing forums and groups I was told by my techie friends to not use my real name. So instead I used a name I hadn't been called in a while. Once I started getting ready to submit and then when I was getting published I chose to keep the name as a) I was 'known' by it online and b) my married last name is a nightmare to spell.

Tell me a bit about yourself:

What type of genre do you write?
I write paranormal and fantasy stories, all with some element of suspense and romance.

What genre to you personally read?
I read paranormal, YA fantasy (Tamora Pierce rocks!), Regency romance, mysteries, and some light BDSM and/or ménage.

Tell me about your latest?
A Matter of Fate is a paranormal romance set in Buffalo, NY, where elves and shifters and other creatures all try to live normal lives and keep their magic hidden from mortals. Hard to do when someone is using magic to create death spells and doesn't care who gets killed.

What sparked your passion for books and the art of a good story?
Well, I love to read, that helps! And I love happy endings, which is why I veer to romance so often. I think the thing I love most is character growth and change, where they start out one place and you can see them move to a better place by the end, although they may be kicking and screaming the entire way.

Is there a particular book that changed or affected your life in a big way?
Beauty by Robin McKinley. This book introduced me to the idea of alternate realities. Reading a story which was clearly fantasy but in the early industrial revolution was so *different* than anything else I had come across. It opened the whole new world of what is now called paranormal literature to me.  Because if this story, with it’s clear elements of fantasy and magic, could be set then, in a time which seemed far more real and recent than traditional fairy tales, certainly there could be stories set in the now with these elements  (as opposed to the more science fiction bent of, say, A Wrinkle in Time). These days with Harry Potter and Twilight the idea doesn’t seem radical at all, but to me, in the late seventies the idea was breathtakingly new.

Is there a message in your book that you want readers to grasp?
There's the idea that sometimes you just have to buck up and do what you've got to do. The execution of this can be fun or it can be horrifying, but shirking the responsibility is not an option.

What challenges have you faced in your writing career?
Mostly trying to find time to write. In my early forties I became a widow and a single mother to three kids under 10. That, and a lack of ground in fundamentals of good sentence structure and tense is one of the reasons it took me so long to get to the point I felt I was even ready to start submitting. Oh, and fear of rejection, but I think all writers deal with that.

What has been your best moment as a writer?
When someone I didn't know gave my novella a four star rating. It was my first review ever and I was walking on air for quite a while after that.

Who is your author idol?
I don't have a single one, but authors I admire include Sharon Shinn, Tamora Pierce and Sherwood Smith. Oh and Julia Quinn. And Shelly Laurenston… lol, okay I'll stop now.

Do you see yourself in any of your characters?
Any time one of characters is being particularly recalcitrant and stubborn I see a little of myself.

Do you feel like your dream has come true or is there much more to do?
Both! I'm so happy to see A Matter of Fate published, but I have a lot more stories in this world I hope to have published as well.

What does your workspace look like?
I typically write sitting on the couch on a laptop with one of my dogs curled up by me.

Have you ever had a day when you just wanted to quit?
No.

What do you do when you’re not writing?
Aside from chauffeuring kids? I read, I play online poker, hang out online with some of my writing buddies. I also love to bead and create things. Oh, and I knit, badly.

What are the most important attributes to remaining sane as a writer?
One: Find a critique group or writing group who will both support you and tell you when you're being too defensive. Two: Remember finding someone (editor/agent) to accept your writing is a lot like dating game show, you'll feel very exposed and out there, it's entirely subjective and just because one person or a dozen say 'no' it doesn't mean that no one will ever say 'yes.' Three: Read and remember why you started down this path in the first place!

Did you have a moment when you realized you were meant to be a writer?
No. I mean I love writing, I constantly have new ideas and scenarios and characters coming to mind, but 'meant to be a writer', no, didn't have that moment.

What advice would you give to aspiring authors?
Never submit first drafts! Or even second ones. Find a critique partner and/or a beta reader and polish that piece before you submit. Keep in mind, though, there is such a thing as over polishing.

After this book, what is next?
I'm wrapping up another book set in the same world. The working title is Buffalo Gal, but I’m sure that'll change!

Your website?

Your blog?

Other websites?

@elliewrites2





Where can your book be found?
Crimson Romance ebooks | Amazon | B&N | iTunes






A Matter of Fate
Ellie Heller

Genre: Paranormal Romance/ Contemporary Fantasy Romance

Publisher: Crimson Romance

Book Description:

Someone is setting death-spells targeting mortals and elf blood alike. With her mentor out of commission, it’s up to half-trained Warder Mona Lisa Kubrek to stop the magic. Despite being told repeatedly her job is to nullify spells and not go after the source, too many people are at risk for her to not track the spell-caster down. Even meeting a sexy half-elf shifter won’t distract her from her goal.

Except Cart Dupree is fully trained and has the team to search for the evildoer, so she’d be stupid to not use his expertise. Stupid is something she can’t afford to be, not with her enemy’s henchmen after her. Later she’ll deal with Cart and his questions about her special abilities and the non-standard training her mentor has given her. Right now, they need to unravel where the magician is, and who he is, before he builds enough power to decimate them all.

First, though, they need to stay alive.

About the Author:

After living in several cities east of the Mississippi, but never quite out of the snow belt, I've settled down in SW Ohio with my three kids, two dogs (one of whom thinks he's a cat) and one cat (who thinks he's a dog).

I write paranormal romance and contemporary fantasy, all with a suspenseful edge. A MATTER OF FATE, a 'traditional' paranormal romance, will be available this spring from Crimson Romance. My first published short (GLBT sensual), "Ginny's Capture" is available now.

I'm also an acquisitions editor (i.e. slush reader :-) ) for Curiosity Quills Press using my full first name, Alison.


@EllieWrites2





Ch 1. 

Her head bowed to the winter wind, Mona strode across the parking lot to the mall, her concern and curiosity about Raine now verging on dread. Since the frantic call from her normally unflappable friend, the scenarios flitting through her mind kept getting worse. Had she been mugged? Detained by mall security? Why? Raine had given no explanation, only saying she needed Mona's help now. Even if they didn't see each other much these days, their best friend bond was unshakeable.

The wind slid under her collar and raised goose bumps along her back. Fuck-a-duck, it was cold! As soon as she finished her training she planned to move someplace warm and get out of Buffalo. Not somewhere too far south though—her light skin sunburned far too easily to be out in the sun all the time.

Avoiding the revolving door out of habit—she felt trapped when she was neither in nor out—she yanked open the side door, thankful to be out of the frigid temperatures. All elves had their quirks, but she knew she had a few more than most. Growing up outside the Folk enclaves, where she might have learned about magic a lot earlier, hadn’t helped.

Mona looked around, expecting to see the management office since she’d been directed to use this entrance. Instead she spotted Raine on a bench at the far end of the hall. Mona was relieved for a split second—until she took in her usually tidy friend’s unkempt appearance. Poorly dressed for the winter, she had no coat and wore open toed shoes and a loose, cap-sleeved sweater over a lightweight dress. Huddled over, legs and arms crossed, the thin sweater tented her body. If Mona hadn’t known the woman, she would have avoided her, and not just because she could see the glow of evil intent surrounding her, but because Raine looked as if she’d been living in her clothes.

As she came closer, Mona concentrated on reading the magic, a bit difficult in the florescent lights. Definitely a spell had been placed on Raine. And in her. Twisted, violent sigils, showing the intent of the spellcaster, controlled the power runes at the base of the working. Mona would have cringed if she hadn’t been stuck dumb by shock.

Oh no, oh no, this was all so wrong. Raine was mortal—aware there were Folk, but mortal. And mortal or not, no one should have a working like this on them, complicated with many intricate mini-spells encapsulated in the larger one. Mona was very, very thankful that Raine had called her. If anyone who created spells, and not just saw them, like she did, had touched the working it would have been a disaster. Even now she worried that Raine’s actions may have triggered the warning beacon placed at critical junctures of the spell.

The magic in Raine would slowly kill her, Mona could see that much. Mona sucked in her breath at the shock. A world without Raine, no matter how infrequently they saw each other, was unthinkable. But what, if anything, Mona could do about it was unclear. She had to be able to do something. She was in training to be a Warder, to protect Folk and humans from misused magic. Even before her training a spell like the one Raine displayed would have drawn her to attempt to fix it; the need was part of why she'd been called to train. Mona took a deep breath; she needed to be calm. The working would shift, speed up, if Raine got overly upset.

“Raine?” she said once she was sure she could keep her anxiety out of her voice.

Raine jumped up. Standing, the heavily pregnant bulge of her belly became apparent. But last time Mona saw Raine, six months ago before her training had become so hectic, Raine was just starting to date someone and had reiterated she was not doing the baby thing until she had a ring on her finger. What had happened? Now that Mona saw the growing baby, the spell was even more sinister, tied up in the tiny person inside her friend. Whoever set the spell either hadn’t known about the pregnancy or, worse yet, did.

“Mona!” Raine slapped her hand to her chest, hysteria lacing her voice. “You scared the crap out of me!”

“Raine, you okay?” Because, shit, this looked bad. Really bad. She couldn’t believe it, but she actually wished her mentor, Smythe, was here to help her figure out how to deal with a spell of this complexity and magnitude. The old coot’s pedantic lecturing when they were working was beyond annoying, but she’d put it up with it in a heartbeat if he could help.

“Yeah,” Raine said. She took several deep breaths. “I will be. Shit, no one’s snuck up on me that bad in ages.”

“Let’s go in,” Mona said. “Can I get you something to eat?” Cracked acorns that spell was convoluted! Nothing like the clear, linear ones with simple branches she’d seen before, this one looped and twisted like a tangle of yarn.

“I—” Raine jumped at the noise of the revolving door screeching.

They turned as a man in tan slacks and an unbuttoned blue blazer headed their way. In Mona’s eyes he glowed with the same tainted residual as Raine. His spell was new and strong enough that she could almost make out the working despite the distance. Mona's read of his Folk abilities made clear he was a shifter, although he wasn't what the Weres called “strong,” and didn't have the balance of elf and human blood needed to shift at any time. Which was good, because the last thing they needed was for him to transform in the middle of the mall. And he definitely had weak magical resistance given the spell compelling him to act looked to be lightly set. Lightly set or not, the compulsion rune on the top layer honed in on them.


Note there are 2 different giveaways- one for the blitz one for the tour
guest blogs and interviews coming separately

April 22 RDB Giveaway is $25 Amazon GC and swag.

Link to grab code

Display link

Tour Giveaway April 15- 29

the grand prize being a Kindle ($69 value) and a $35 Amazon GC (or the option of a $100 Amazon or B&N gift card),

 the first place prize is a Buffalo Bills Blanket and a $20 Amazon gift card
6 prize packs featuring bags full of book swag


Share link

Giveaway display link

Please thank Ellie for joining us today. Check out the rafflecopters and a book or two. Join in the fun.
Keep Writing!
Jodie Pierce


Friday, April 19, 2013

Author Emily Guido!

Hi all!






TODAY ONLY
APRIL 19, 2013
Charmeine

The First Novel in
The Light-Bearer Series
 ‘FREE’
Smashwords coupon: HB94P



Synopsis of “Charmeine”
Can romance develop between a Heavenly Light-Bearer and a Hellish Vampire Blood-Hunter?
"Charmeine" the First Novel in "The Light-Bearer Series," was released January 2012.
Tabbruis is a Blood-Hunter and drinks blood to survive. Over millennia Tabbruis has wandered the Earth alone aimlessly living through many historical events.
Charmeine just came to the Earth in 1997, unable to remember anything.
When Tabbruis meets Charmeine the attraction is immediate and passionate. They are polar opposites and clash together in a strongly romantic and dramatic way. When she meets Tabbruis, Charmeine’s powers as a Light-Bearer, one who throws lightning, is triggered and grows exponentially.
Will Charmeine and Tabbruis fulfill their destinies?   Will they realize their importance in both the Blood-Hunter and Light-Bearer world? 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
RAVE REVIEWS for “Charmeine” by Author Emily Guido

“Romance between a Vampire and a light bearer is something so new, I had to read this book to find out what the buzz and feel is all about …
All I can say is that book didn't disappoint at all! A must read!”
Fathima Amiruddin

“This is a great read, and a terrific debut novel!”
Susan Ashcraft

“The author's story got me hooked. I think the readers will feel the same.”
Carol Fitzpatrick

“This story is a fantastically tender, romantic one of timeless love.
This story is well worth a read!”
Melanie Adkins

“The scenes were beautifully described and the plot is creative and intriguing.
The Light-Bearer Series is sure to be the next fabulous Angel series on your
“To-Read” shelf!”
Cassie

“Well done Emily, this is a great debut novel!”
Samantha Adams



About the Author
Emily Guido is a new Paranormal Romance Author. She was inspired to start writing "Charmeine" because one day she got an idea of two characters that needed to have their story told. Not ever dreaming a week later she would have over a 100,000 words written. When Emily writes, it is similar to you or I watching a movie. She pictures the characters in her head going through vivid descriptions of each scene. There are so many nuances going through her mind that she cannot type fast enough.  The novels “Mactus,” “Accendo,” “Seditious,”  and “Ransom,”  are the continuation of the wonderful adventures of the inhabitants of The Castle Charmeine!
Emily is currently writing “Conundrum”  the Sixth Novel in “The Light-Bearer Series” She works at a College full time, and pursuing her Master of Business Administration.
YA, PNR, Paranormal Romance, Vampire, Angels, Action and Adventure, Historical
Where to find/follow Emily:

Please thank Emily for joining us today and wish her good luck with the first of many to come Light-Bearer books!
Keep Writing!
Jodie Pierce

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Author Larisa Walk


Hi all!
Please help me welcome Author Larisa Walk to my blog today!



AUTHOR Bio and Links:



Larisa Walk, a native Russian, lives in California with her husband and two formerly homeless cats. She writes paranormal fiction that is more often than not populated by characters from the Russian fairy world. Her short fiction appeared in several anthologies and magazines. She has published a historic fantasy novel, A Handful of Earth, and a modern paranormal novel, A Witch Without Magic.

A Witch Without Magic
by Larisa Walk

~~~~~~~~~~~~~


BLURB:

When her neighbors accuse Belladonna of Satanism and making them age years to days, she must find who is behind it or face a modern day witch hunt. Her mysterious enemy knows where to strike to cause the most damage: Belladonna's only friend is losing his life-force; the garden that feeds her is dying; and her house ghost goes poltergeist. To save her neighbors and friends and prove her innocence, she must travel to the Otherworld where butterflies have razor wings and where her worst fears will come to life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EXCERPTS:

Excerpt One:

The mob on the other side of the wrought iron fence wore no tri-cornered hats or starched bonnets.  They didn’t brandish pitchforks or flaming torches.  Hell, they didn’t even bring a preacher to drive the Devil out.  Still, they had come to flush out a witch and the witch was me.

They were thirty all together, gathered outside my gate under the two California live oaks that shade the sidewalk in midday.  I had to squint into the still hot mid-October sun to study their unfamiliar faces.  The mob included several dwarves.  The youngest dwarf must have been in her forties, a tiny woman that for some reason wore a yellow, red and blue Snow White dress with an appliquéd picture of Snow White on the chest.  She didn’t look like a typical dwarf: no classically high forehead and her arms and legs were proportionate.  She was holding a fluffy purple teddy bear by a front paw and sucking her thumb.

In the sun my forehead sweated under the straw hat.  A mocking bird’s harsh chirrup burst from the oak on the right, piercing as a car horn.  I flinched.

I don’t much like or trust people in large groups - doing time in Greenville State Prison for Women had taught me that.  In prison the exercise yard is the most dangerous place to be: too many inmates in one area, too many chances to be stabbed with a shiv made from a sharpened toothbrush handle or from melted and hardened Styrofoam cups.
.

Excerpt Two:

The mob on the other side of the wrought iron fence wore no tri-cornered hats or starched bonnets.  They didn’t brandish pitchforks or flaming torches.  Hell, they didn’t even bring a preacher to drive the Devil out.  Still, they had come to flush out a witch and the witch was me.

They were thirty all together, gathered outside my gate under the two California live oaks that shade the sidewalk in midday.  I had to squint into the still hot mid-October sun to study their unfamiliar faces.  The mob included several dwarves.  The youngest dwarf must have been in her forties, a tiny woman that for some reason wore a yellow, red and blue Snow White dress with an appliquéd picture of Snow White on the chest.  She didn’t look like a typical dwarf: no classically high forehead and her arms and legs were proportionate.  She was holding a fluffy purple teddy bear by a front paw and sucking her thumb.

In the sun my forehead sweated under the straw hat.  A mocking bird’s harsh chirrup burst from the oak on the right, piercing as a car horn.  I flinched.

I don’t much like or trust people in large groups - doing time in Greenville State Prison for Women had taught me that.  In prison the exercise yard is the most dangerous place to be: too many inmates in one area, too many chances to be stabbed with a shiv made from a sharpened toothbrush handle or from melted and hardened Styrofoam cups.


Excerpt Three:


I tried to walk with an official swing in my step, clipboard under my right arm, the other arm at my side, desperately trying not to clutch at the fabric of my jumpsuit with a death grip.  Mice and rats darted in and out of bushes.  A large flock of crows cawed in the trees.  In one spot ants covered the sidewalk like spilled black pepper.  Dark magic was afoot and the vermin were drawn to it.

There were some kids with aged faces playing on the other side of the street.  I tried not to stare at them.  One kid, a boy of about seven, judging by his height, actually looked like he was in his eighties.  He seemed to have trouble breathing and had to stop often to rest.  My jaws ached and a sharp spike seemed to be embedded in my chest.  Goddess help me, but I couldn't blame their parents for hating me.  If I were in their place and thought I knew who was doing this to my kids, I'd go on a witch hunt, too.  I was lucky the cops didn't believe my neighbors that I was doing this awful life-draining stuff to them or I wouldn't have any protection.  I prayed hard that I'd find a way to stop the dark witch before anyone died from being too old at the age of seven.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Links:

See her quirky blog posts here: http://www.larisawalk.com


Please thank Larisa for joining us today! Check out her websites and buy a book!

Keep Writing!
Jodie Pierce

Friday, April 12, 2013

Author Avery Aster


Hi all!

Please help me welcome Author Avery Aster to my blog today!



AUTHOR INFORMATION:

Avery Aster is an American novelist who pens erotic romance for Ellora’s Cave. As an Upper East Side resident and a graduate from New York University Avery is celebrated for giving readers an inside look at the city’s glitzy nightlife, socialite sexcapades, and tall tales of the über-rich and ultra-famous. “I write about what I see in my metropolis which never sleeps—Manhattanites on the quest for a passionate thrill,” Avery says. “By and large, my characters are drop-dead gorgeous, ripped straight from the headlines and on the hunt for their next conquest.”
Undressed, book one, launched The Manhattanites series exploring people’s forbidden desires of lust and longing. When Avery’s star-studded cast unites it always feels like forever and everyone has a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Log on to AveryAster.com for upcoming book releases or email Avery@AveryAster.com to join The Manhattanites fan club.


UNDRESSED
By
Avery Aster



BLURB:  
 Book 1 in The Manhattanites series. (78,000 words, M/F, HEA, Erotic Romance, Contemporary)
Milan’s notorious playboy, Prince Tittoni, seems to have everything—Lamborghinis, exotic women, palaces throughout Europe and business success. Ramping up his fabric company to go global with a new apparel brand, he ruthlessly stops supplying fabrics to the American client who inspired the collection. But once they meet, what’s he willing to give to get her in his bed?
Upper East Side designer Lex Easton has already endured her fair share of hard knocks. She’ll be damned if she’ll let an Italian stud muffin knock her down. So what if she named her favorite vibrator after him? With Fashion Week approaching, she’ll do whatever it takes to secure the fabrics she needs to make her clothing line an international success—even sleep with her rival.
Lex’s Louboutins are dug in deep to win this war. All’s fair in love and fashion!
Inside Scoop: Though the hero and heroine remain monogamous, their Prada-wearing friends indulge in a ménage a trois and other fashionable sexual fun and games.


EXCERPT:

EXCERPT ONE:

Cupping her hands around her eyes, she pressed her face to the window to see a tiny cockpit. “Where’s the pilot?”

“Right here.” He held out the keys, walking around the plane’s right side, smirking, and posing as Indiana Jones on the last crusade. She hoped they weren’t heading toward the Temple of Doom. Massimo rivaled Mr. Jones in hotness, she prayed not in adventure.

“Do you have a pilot’s license?” she asked, unsure if they taught aviation at The Royal Millionaire Playboy Academy.

, signorina.” He shook his head poking fun at her.

“I’m serious. Show me your license please?” Lex held on to the plane’s door as if it were a gate to hell. Christian Dior, get me outta here.

Massimo closed the distance between them in response. “Give me your hand.” Not waiting for her to respond, he grabbed her mitts from the door. “Bella, you are shaking,” he noticed and secured his fingers around hers, massaging her palm into his.

Strong hands. “You may call me Lex, not Bella. This isn’t Twilight.” She didn’t care for paranormal.


EXCERPT TWO:

Withdrawing her hand from his, she raised her right thumb to collect a fallen tear as she caught her breath. “Thank you for your time, Your Majesty.” Lex wrapped the pashmina tighter around her shoulders. “I’ll ring Goldbaum & Goldstein first thing in the morning.” She crossed her arms, likely not happy with having to go to a different manufacturer.

Massimo hadn’t heard about the Gold’s before. “Are they a new fabric supplier?” I haven’t met Signor Goldbaum or Signor Goldstein. Nice people to work with?”

“Very. Sarah Goldbaum and Hannah Goldstein have been friends with me since college.” Her eyes sparked a challenge he didn’t wish for. “At Columbia University I majored in Women’s Studies and they graduated in—International Law. They were in my sorority.”

“International law?” His tonsils throbbed as if a frog had leapt down his throat. “Who are Sara and Hannah?”

“My lawyers! G and G represent Manhattan’s finest. They never lose a case.”

Aaugh!” Without intention he stood, enraged. It was impossible to sit. Royal etiquette rule number one, titled Grace. His mother, Elisabetta Giada, Princess of Oro, taught him as a boy. Always walk away from nastiness—never stick around or react. Massimo threw his damask napkin over his plate. He couldn’t manage her meltdown, remain professional and be dignified at the same time. One minute she’d flirt, next second she’d cry, and then she’d threaten. He realized he may not be any better. “If you will mi scusi, dinner is over. Buona notte.”

“Good night to you too,” she echoed, dropping her head between her hands.

He marched away, unsure what else he could do for her. If he stayed, they’d rip one another to pieces. Her lawyers didn’t worry him. Girasoli contracted the best legal counsel money could buy. But would the courts see it his way or hers?


EXCERPT THREE:

She gasped. He’d lost his mind. Lunacy swirled rampant around them today. “No way! I don’t need to ration a sellout to your subdivision for more than a second. I can tell you right now, the answer is no.” Hell to the no.

“Your quick ‘no’ is because I refused to say ‘yes’ to sex. They say men think with their dicks. I hope you do not run Easton with your—”

Shut it!” I’m gonna punch you. Lex inhaled and fisted her hands. She reflected on what Taddy or Vive might say right now. She’d give him an earful sampled by second bestie “Viveca Farnworth” sarcasm style. Massimo deserved it. “You could have fucked me ’til your uncut, overexposed on the blogs, ‘too ginormous for my snatch’ pecker fell off. And I’d still no way never ever in a thousand years sell, loan, sample you my Easton. And to answer your question, I run my company with my pussy, and twenty-four other pussy-sporting employees. Easton girls do not allow dickheads or cocks in our fashion world. Period.” She recrossed her arms and quirked her jaw up to illustrate physical defiance coordinating with her ruthless words.

Massimo’s face remained impervious. She heard him jingle loose change in his pocket. He coughed, cleared his throat and said, “An acquisition is the solution viable for us both. Girasoli will acquire Easton. You will work for Girasoli and receive full benefits, health care, retirement, an expense account, you name it. Girasoli will give your entire team plenty of vacation time—whatever you want.”

“Come again?” Hell to the maaaybe.

“Today, watching what you did with the designs confermato my interest. Girasoli needs you. And Easton needs Girasoli. It is best for everyone. Think it over.”

“There is nothing to think over.” She bluffed. A regular paycheck with benefits versus her unstable startup and lack of cash, which flowed out, never in, made her pussy cream more than thinking about Massimo’s fat dick.

“When you are ready, I will have my attorneys draw up the paperwork, assuming you agree on the price. Would you care to know the prezzo I’m offering for Easton?”

“No, I would not. Easton is priceless. There isn’t enough money in the world for my baby.” Easton was her child. An all consuming, demanding, fulltime, pain in her ass child, but she loved her two-year-old Easton regardless.

“Girasoli will wage five times Easton’s annual gross,” Massimo enticed without hesitation.

“Last year’s gross? Or this year’s projected revenue?”

“This year,” he affirmed.

She did the calculations in her head and rounded up to the nearest million. “Three hundred flippin’ mil.” Hell to the Yaaah.

25 New Yorker Insights Learned in Undressed by Avery Aster
Sex
· Your vagina can take a guy’s shaft and nuts…at the same time.
· Always name your butt plug after Anderson Cooper.
· Pre-ejaculation while jetting a plane over Italy causes turbulence.
· Never let a dog sleep in your bed, especially three dogs. It’ll ruin your sex life.
· If he’s as hung as an Evian bottle, it’s best to look away.
 Money
· Always retain the legal services of female lawyers, particularly ones named; Sarah Goldbaum and Hannah Goldstein.
· Never allow your mother to spend your line of credit on a psychic from the Caribbean.
· Sexual frustration leads to good business practices, enough to earn three hundred million dollars.
· If Bergdorf’s, Barney’s and Saks Fifth Avenue reject your upcoming fashion collections try selling it to JCPenny’s.
· Use your American Express reward points wisely.
 Life
· Bellini cocktail consumption will induce foot fetishes.
· Swedish Fish, Now & Later, and Gummy Bears from Dylan’s Candy Bar are perfect for your fuck-it bucket.
· Everyone should be so lucky to have a best friend like Taddy Brill.
· Never drive a Ford Thunderbird off a cliff thinking you’re Thelma & Louise.
· Stay away from any woman named Scilla or Ottavia.
 Fashion
· Wearing Tory Burch ballet flats while racing a sports car may cause ones clitoris to hum.
· Think twice before sitting Lady Gaga and Madonna next to one another at your fashion show.
· Prada and a condom, when worn together, are known to make bisexual men go bonkbuster cra-cra.
· Altering a vintage Valentino dress, formerly worn by socialite Nati Abascal, may land you on the red carpet.
· We should all get fucked in Fendi.
 Love
· When in love, you can have as many orgasms as you like…in one day!
· Slow dancing to Giuseppe Verdi enhances one’s emotional state.
· Never argue with your lover in public, above all—never in front of Anna Wintour, Marc Jacobs, or Karl Lagerfeld.
· Playing Simon Says, in bed, may lead one to reveal their true feelings. So will strip dancing in front of him to the song Girls, Girls, Girls by Mötley Crüe.
· And finally, he must always say, “I love you,” first.


Please thank Avery for joining us today! Please check out her books!

Keep Writing!
Jodie Pierce